Midlife can be a time when we review and question *everything*.

It can be a time when we no longer put up with pleasing everyone else – and sacrificing ourselves in the process.

It can be a time of letting go, stepping into the unknown, and discovering new things about ourselves.

It can also be a time of overwhelm, anxiety, and feeling lost and uncertain.

When it comes to your sexual self in midlife, there are plenty of messages ‘out there’ about how you ‘should’ be. We’re told our libido goes, we dry up – physically and in terms of our desires. We’re told sex becomes less important – and we become less desirable. We’re told we should accept our fate or go on HRT to turn back time/stop the clock. We’re told we have to work harder to ‘keep our figure’. We’re told to dye our hair to cover up the greys.

We’re told – as we have been throughout our lives – that our worth (in great part) is dependent on our sexual attractiveness and desirability to others.

And then, when we can’t keep up with all of these expectations and demands, we’re told the only other option is to pack away this part of us – for good – and be content with our hobbies, our children and grandchildren. We’re told we should be grateful, even, that we no longer have to ‘bother with’ all that sex stuff.

But what if you chose to write your own story of midlife sexuality – instead of the one others are telling about you? What would you want your story to say?

What if we question the assumptions and, instead, ask: is this true for *me*?

Has your libido gone? Or do you simply desire something different to before?

Have you been expecting to feel spontaneous desire – like you may have done in your 20s? Or do you know what your responsive desire enjoys responding to – now, as you are, at this time?

When your body feels like a difficult, painful, unpredictable place to inhabit, what happens when you focus on creating an environment of pleasure?

You can choose to avoid pleasure, or to passively notice and consume pleasure when it is offered to you, or to actively seek out and create pleasures (yes, plural) in your life.

What happens if you become a Pleasure-Seeker in perimenopause?

Pleasure, for me, includes:

  • Wearing clothes and colours that delights me.

  • Savouring delicious tea, made in a teapot, and drunk from my favourite mug.

  • Receiving sensual touch – fully allowing myself to receive and enjoy it – from myself and others.

  • Inviting the whole spectrum of orgasms: from quick, tension-releasing ones, through to deep, heart and soul-affirming, full-body-trembling ones.

  • Meeting my needs as best I can – being an exquisite lover and caretaker of my Self.

How about you?

To find out more about my upcoming Pleasure Course, sign up to my email list (and get a free book) HERE.

Let's stay in touch