So, you want to start writing erotica? Here’s a beginner’s guide

I recently asked people to share their questions with me and I’ve been recording short videos as my answers. This week, I answer your questions about getting started with writing your own erotica.

I talk about:

  • How to find the time to write.
  • How to know what to write.
  • How to give yourself full permission to ‘go there’ and to write shamelessly!

Watch the video here:

You can also download my free erotica guidebook here.

And join in my pre-recorded writing workshop here.

Growing desire into pleasure

Desire is longing, anticipation, yearning, having and not having.

When I write about desire I often feel it as an ache, an empty space waiting to be filled, a delicious potential.

Pleasure is in the moment, embodied, felt and received.

When I write about pleasure it is in my active voice, it is something I have, something experienced.

I’ve been curious of late about the differences between these two, and the relationship between them. Why I am drawn to write about one more than the other. Why it sometimes feels more comfortable to write about longing than it does fulfilment.

Perhaps it comes down, in part, to owning the fact that – ultimately – I am responsible for my own pleasure. It is something inside of me, not something out there. My pleasure is something to be created rather than found. Yes, I can choose to co-create with a willing and enthusiastic other, but I can’t expect them to bring me my pleasure (like the old TV advert where the man swings through the high-rise window to present his chocolate box offering “all because the lady loves Milk Tray”).

We’re not taught this though. We are taught that desire is a sign of something we are lacking and need to obtain. We’re not taught that desire is a signpost to our inner world.

Desire is the seeds that we plant in our inner landscape. We nurture them. We attend to them. We allow them to grow and, when we are ready, we can enjoy the fruits and flowers of pleasure that harvesting them offers us.

It feels radical to know that my pleasure is already within me, waiting to be harvested.

And what about when I choose to share that pleasure? When I choose to add my fruits and flowers into the garden of another Eden where someone else’s seeds have been nurtured and grown too? We can share our mutual harvests but we need to each bring something to the table: I can’t expect to feast solely on their offerings and neither can I allow them to feast solely on mine.

We co-create our mutual pleasure, grown from the seeds of our individual desires.

Pleasure is embodied. And that means I have to allow myself to feel it. To feel excitement, joy, delight, rapture, and love.

Those are big feelings. Bold feelings. Courageous feelings.

Pleasure is not passive. Pleasure needs to be received, allowed, accepted. Desires can remain dormant until they are given the attention and actions they need to grow, evolve, and – if we choose – be realised.

I’ve been taught how to brush the feelings of want and longing under the carpet, to shift my focus away from them and onto something ‘more  important’. But if I never nurture my desires, how can I allow myself to fully understand and enjoy pleasure?

And pleasure is important! It feeds into my vitality, my wellbeing, and my ability to make my contribution to the world. We all benefit from pleasure. We each remember who we truly are – touch our soul’s magnificence – through pleasure.

Walking my desire lines is my active pursuit of pleasure. But my desire lines are also about more than just pleasure. Walking my desire lines is my path to self-awareness and self-understanding, my path to self-expression. Ultimately, walking my desire lines is my path to embracing more than just the potential for pleasure; I walk to step into pleasure, bringing the whole of me on the journey – body, mind, and soul.

Read more about walking our desire lines (click) here.

And please join my mailing list to find out more…

Playtime! Would you like to write as your erotic self?

I had such fun with this! As the grand finale of the #UnboundBookClub event for Desire Lines, I delivered a one-hour playshop on writing as your sexual self.

Join me as I share:

  • How and why I started writing erotica.
  • My 3 top tips for writing as your sexual self.
  • 3 writing prompts and writing time during the session to play with your erotic imagination and start writing.

Feedback after the event:

“Fantastic! I had no idea whether I could write erotically – turns out I can – wonderful!!!”

“This was amazing Anna! It’s re-awakened something in me. Very grateful.”

Wine, nibbles, and an erotic book club

One of my favourite people in the whole world to talk with about desire – and Desire Lines – is Nicola Humber (author, mentor, publisher and UNBOUND woman).

We recently chatted as part of the Desire Lines #UnboundBookClub…

In this video we talk about:

  • The power of community – knowing we are not alone and finding kindred spirits to talk and share with.
  • How online spaces can make talking about taboos easier. And my dream of having an in-person book club, complete with wine and nibbles (or tea and cake), and freedom to talk about our desires!
  • The “wet test” and how to use this to inform and guide our writing and our lives.
  • How to take part in a free erotic writing event.

Have you got your free guide to writing erotica? Just sign up below and you’ll get regular letters from me too.

Metaphors are my kink

CONTENT NOTE: this post contains erotic and explicit writing

I can’t believe I’ve only just realised this!

When I’m writing, I see the pictures in my mind, and often those pictures are metaphors rather than the literal thing I’m thinking of.

Take Desire Lines, for example. In town planning, desire lines refer to the bespoke paths that pedestrians make and take rather than following the pavement or walkway that has been laid down for them.

But, for me, desire lines, are a metaphor for the paths we take on our unique sexual explorations and expressions.

Realising that metaphors are a kink for me only became truly apparent when I wrote a piece earlier called ‘Let Me Be Your Pianola’.

I got a definite thrill from seeing and feeling those pictures in my mind’s eye.

Creating the metaphor feels like a sexual act in and of itself.

It turns me on.

Curious to read more?

Here’s the Pianola piece (content warning: the metaphor alludes to BDSM practices)

You know the pianola, right? Those self-playing pianos you saw in the old movies. It looked like magic as the keys moved up and down and the music came out with no-one touching them: maybe a jaunty honky-tonk piece or an old time favourite.

The ‘magic’ comes from a roll of paper with holes punched in it. The positioning of the holes corresponds to the notes and the tempo. As the roll rotates, the music plays.

When we are in a scene, You are the composer and I am the pianola. Your deliberate and considered placement of marks and holes on my paper-skin cause me to sing to Your tune. You set the rhythm and pace. You create the tone. You play me. It can look – and feel – like magic.

Each time we meet You produce a different roll. You thread it inside me, aligning me with the music You are most hungering for that day (or night – I love it when the music plays in the dark).

I’m craving Your music. My voice calling out Your notes. You.

So, you want to write an erotic story?

Have you ever thought about writing your own erotica?

Perhaps you fancy turning one of your fantasies into a story to gift to your lover?

Or maybe you’d like to share your story with a wider audience: on the web or in a book?

Or maybe you just want to write an erotic story for yourself – completely for your own pleasure?

If you’ve answered ‘yes’ to any of these questions you are probably also wondering where on earth you even begin… How you start writing… And – most importantly – who you are as a sexual being, and how you access that part of yourself to find out more about what your fantasies are.

I spoke with Nicola Humber of The Unbound Press about writing as your Unbound Sexual Self!

We talked about:

  • how our sexual selves evolve and change over time
  • how we can use writing to explore and express who we are
  • what it means to be an Unbound Woman
  • how writing can help you to reclaim your desires (and the words you want to use to express them)
  • how to start writing!

Here’s the video…

(If you want more support with writing your own sexy story, take a look at my free Erotic Writing Guidebook.)

Choosing to desire “desire” and other stories…

I had a joyful conversation with Nicola Humber of The Unbound Press about Desire Lines. Talking about all of this really lights me up, and I’m excited to share it with you!

Watch the video to hear more about:
* What desire lines are and how we can lose touch with how to follow them.

* Why exploring your sexual self is not just for those in relationships.

* How choosing to ‘desire desire’ can be incredibly powerful in terms of waking up our sexual energy.

Your story matters

We all have stories that form the unique tapestries of our lives.

Some stories we create. Others happen to us.

Some stories we tell. Others we keep secret.

Some stories we choose to share…both as medicine and healing for ourselves, and for those who will read them.

If you are ready to write YOUR story, my 3 minute guided visualisation might help you to give yourself permission, and to remember that now it is your turn to tell your story.

Our stories are our power.

The power of walking our desire lines

I was privileged to chat with the amazing Nicola Humber, author of UNBOUND, and founder of The Unbound Press.

In this relaxed but deep-diving conversation we talked about:

  • How a pair of beige shoes led me to take a leap of faith and move across the world to New Zealand.
  • What desire lines are and the power of walking our own unique desire lines in life, particularly when it comes to sexuality.
  • How I moved beyond feelings of shame and vulnerability to find the courage to share my personal stories in Desire Lines.

(I may have also confessed to my crush on Gal Gadot as Wonderwoman…!)

I hope you enjoy it!

Soul union

The impulse to create is an innate feature of human beings. So is the urge to leave our mark. From graffiti in public toilets, to great literary masterpieces; we want others to know we have existed.

The legacy of having children is common but that makes it no less miraculous and celebrated every time it occurs.

There are other creative options too.

How many of us feel we have a book within us?

Aside from wanting to be seen now, and the desire to leave something for future generations, there’s another need that creating something fulfills.

Being creative (in whatever form that takes) allows us to express something of our soul.

We are each a soul experiencing life in a human body. In this lifetime, we each get to experience the physicality and sensuality of having a body. We also have endless opportunities to experience the emotional aspects of being human. We can think and learn. We can question and explore. We can remember our soul selves and we can forget them.

When we create we are in union with our soul.