CONTENT NOTE: this post contains erotic and explicit writing
I have imagined your hands in such great detail.
I’ve dreamt of your hands stroking and smoothing my
anticipatory skin. The slight drag where your calloused pads catch, reminding
me that you are more used to working with hard, inanimate objects than with
sensitive, malleable flesh.
I’ve pictured the shape of your fingers intertwined with
mine, and felt our hands meeting: palm to palm in Shakespeare’s holy palmer’s
kiss.
And I’ve fantasised about the eventual moment when your
fingers slide inside me, reaching and beckoning to release more and more of me.
Despite having such a strong imagined familiarity with your
hands, I have never imagined your kiss.
Strangely, a kiss from you feels so much more intimate than
surrendering my body to your touch.
A kiss from you would mean tasting the story of your day: the
bitterness of the coffee you drank this morning; the sweetness of the biscuit
you did not refuse; and the richness of the steak you ate for dinner.
A kiss from you would mean a shared breath. The very essence
of life being drawn from my lungs and into yours. The oxygen fuelling the blood
pumping through our hearts. No pretending now that this is just a carnal
exchange – not now our hearts are involved.
A kiss from you would mean your lips, your tongue, your
teeth: exploring, tasting, sucking, biting. Densely packed nerve-endings
sending out scores of messages to my biddable body: blood rushing faster;
breath now in audible gasps; slumbering parts of me being awoken and engorged.
And parts of you too.
A kiss from you would mean a thousand different things.
After the kiss there would be no going back. Regardless of
whether we ever saw each other again, we would be joined forever at a cellular
level. The intimacy shared through the kiss would not be just about the
physical and the emotional, it would impact at an even deeper level: it would
be – in that moment – a merging of our souls.
A kiss from you would be my undoing. And also my salvation.
A Kiss From You is taken from my book, Desire Lines.
Read more chapters from the book:
Preface // Chapter 1 // Lilith and the Daemon: short story // Chapter 2.